Over-Functioning During the Holidays: Why Boundaries Matter More Than Ever
Do you dread the holidays—not because you don’t love your people—but because you're already feeling stretched thin, emotionally exhausted, and maybe even a little resentful?
You’re not alone.
This week, Leslie Vernick and Coach Diana unpack what it looks like to stop over-functioning during the holidays by learning how to set boundaries—clearly, kindly, and biblically. From role-playing difficult conversations to exploring the internal guilt and fear many women wrestle with, this episode is packed with faith-filled insight and practical tools to help you protect your peace and prioritize what matters most.
If you’ve ever felt selfish for saying “no” or guilty for disappointing others, this conversation will give you the clarity and courage you need to love well—without losing yourself.
Key Takeaways
1. Boundaries Are God’s Design, Not Rebellion
Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re sacred. God set boundaries in creation, and He calls us to do the same. Boundaries reflect His nature of order, peace, and love. When we set boundaries, we’re not being harsh—we’re honoring God’s call to steward our time, energy, and hearts.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." – Proverbs 4:23
2. Love Without Boundaries Isn’t Love—It’s Control
When we can’t say no, our yes becomes meaningless. Love that’s forced or rooted in fear isn’t love at all—it’s obligation. God never forces us into relationship with Him. He invites, never invades. In the same way, healthy love must include freedom and choice.
3. Role-Playing Real-Life Scenarios Builds Confidence
Leslie and Diana walk through real examples—like refusing to host Christmas, saying no to dog-sitting, or sticking to a spending limit. Each scenario highlights how to express a firm and loving no without over-explaining, defending, or absorbing guilt. These scripts show how clarity and compassion can coexist.
4. You Are Not Responsible for Other People’s Disappointment
Someone else’s sadness, frustration, or manipulation does not mean you’ve done something wrong. Healthy boundaries often expose unhealthy dynamics. When others push back, it reveals their reliance on your compliance—not your care.
"Let them have their feelings. It’s not your job to manage their emotions—it’s your job to steward your obedience to God."
5. Practical Tools for Calming the Guilt and Holding the Line
You’ll learn how to:
- Prepare for pushback by getting clear with God ahead of time
- Use breathwork and body-awareness to stay calm under pressure
- Let silence do the heavy lifting after you’ve stated your boundary
- Anchor your identity in Christ, not someone else’s approval
- Use simple scripts to hold a boundary without getting defensive
A Personal Invitation
Are the holidays bringing up anxiety instead of joy? If you’re tired of the pressure to perform, please others, or over-function to keep the peace, Leslie’s resources can help you create emotional and spiritual breathing room.
Register now for Leslie’s free workshop:
Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Moving from Breakdown to Breakthrough
Thursday, December 4th at 12pm or 7:30pm ET
leslievernick.com/stuck
Final Encouragement
Friend, you don’t have to be everything to everyone this holiday season. You don’t need to hustle for love or sacrifice your sanity to make others happy. Boundaries aren’t walls to shut people out—they’re gates that let love in.
You are allowed to protect your peace.
You are allowed to rest.
You are allowed to say no—with kindness, clarity, and courage.
And when you do? You’ll be saying a much bigger yes to God, to emotional wholeness, and to the kind of love that sets both you and others free.
You’ve got this—with God’s help.