Why the holidays amplify doubts. What to do instead of panicking.
If you're overwhelmed, exhausted, pretending you’re fine, or Googling “How to pretend I'm not miserable in my marriage and ruin Christmas?” this conversation is exactly what you need.
December hits differently when your marriage feels heavy. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea break down why the holidays can push you into emotional overdrive and why that does not automatically mean you need to file for divorce today. From understanding the difference between a crisis moment vs. a clarity moment, to learning the now-iconic Pantry Party Plan, this episode gives you practical strategies to stay grounded, calm, and emotionally safe during one of the most triggering months of the year.
You’re Not Weak — You’re Overwhelmed
Andrea and Morgan open the episode with a message so many listeners need to hear:
You’re going to be okay.
Holiday stress isn’t proof that your marriage suddenly collapsed — it’s proof that December is a pressure cooker.
Friends. Traditions. Money. Kids. Expectations. Fake joy.
Your nervous system is maxed out, and that’s normal.
A crisis moment feels like:
- wanting to flee your house
- hiding in the pantry
- crying out of nowhere
- fantasizing about driving away and not coming back
- panic bubbling in your chest
These moments do NOT require divorce decisions.
A clarity moment feels like:
- “Yep… this marriage still doesn’t feel right.”
- annoyance, sadness, or distance
- noticing repeating patterns
- calm recognition of misalignment
Clarity = information
Crisis = not the time to act
This distinction alone saves listeners from major mistakes.
December will give you a moment where you need to step away — mentally or physically.
Andrea introduces the Pantry Party Plan, a simple, strategic grounding tool to stop panic from running the show.
Step 1: Set a timer.
- 3 minutes → small wobble
- 5–7 minutes → medium crisis
- 10 minutes → major meltdown prevention
Step 2: Exhale first.
Panic makes it nearly impossible to breathe in.
So start by pushing out all your air, then allow the inhale.
Step 3: Add your mantra.
Pick something that makes you laugh, relax, or feel powerful.
Andrea’s?
“Bitches ain’t shit.”
Find one that works for YOU.
🧘♀️ Why December Makes Everything Feel Worse
Morgan breaks down the legal + emotional side:
Emotional triggers:
- holiday traditions when you're unhappy
- forced family time