After the massive breakthrough of Night One—two funerals, the collapsing skyscraper, the dissolving of old fears—I walked into Night Two believing the work was done. I felt complete, emptied, reborn. I even considered not drinking at all. But Ayahuasca loves to laugh at certainty, and the shamans gently suggested a tiny “check-in” dose. Just a sip. Just enough to see if anything remained.
Fifteen minutes later, the medicine hit me with the force of a spiritual hurricane.
What followed was not enlightenment. Not beauty. Not cosmic revelation. It was overstimulation on a scale I had never experienced—violent fractals, exploding geometry, unraveling mandalas, and the infamous Transformer-Mickey-Mouse-Jiffy-Pop-Clown-Show that appears when the mind begins to collapse under its own fear. My nervous system short-circuited. My breath vanished. My intention dissolved. Everything became too loud, too fast, too much.
And the only thing attacking me was my own resistance.
Guided to the “bad boys’ corner” of the maloca, I spent hours trapped in a visual and emotional hurricane, praying for release and finding none. No purge. No relief. No escape. Just chaos. Shame. Fear. A distorted carnival spinning out of control.
Until one quiet moment changed everything.
When I finally remembered the real question—the IRS question, the Dragon’s question:
Hmmm? What is actually happening here? What is this showing me?
The answer landed like a whisper:
Time. Your forgotten ally. Your secret weapon. The truth that dissolves all suffering.
This too shall pass.
The visuals didn’t stop. The nightmare didn’t soften. But my relationship to it changed. And the instant fear lost its authority, Grandmother stepped back in respect. She hadn’t been punishing me. She had been teaching me the one lesson I didn’t know I still needed:
Nothing permanent can harm you. Only fear convinces you otherwise.
Everything—anxiety, worry, panic, uncertainty—is just passing weather.
In this episode, I take you inside the hardest night of my life, a night where the medicine became the mirror, the storm became the teacher, and time revealed itself as the true healer. Through Alan Watts, the IRS, and a collapse that turned into clarity, this chapter is a reminder for anyone drowning in fear:
It’s rarely the situation that hurts us. It’s the meaning we’ve assigned to it.
And when we zoom out—beyond our stories, beyond our worries, beyond this tiny spinning rock in a universe of trillions—everything softens. Everything shifts. Everything passes.
Night Two wasn’t a failure.
It was the teaching beneath the teaching.
The darkness behind the breakthrough.
The reminder I didn’t want… but desperately needed.
This too shall pass.
And the next morning, Day Three began—
with sunlight, stone ruins, grounded earth, and a much-needed return to the outside world.
For more information on the Arkana Spiritual Center: www.arkanainternational.com
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0:00 - Intro to the Dark Side of Growth
1:55 - Night Number Two - This too shall pass.
4:38 - Do I need to drink again, or am I all set?
11:07 - Size doesn’t matter
13:28 - The Visuals? Friend of Fo?
14:44 - The Four Pillars to the rescue
20:18 - The Grotesque Overstimulating Visuals
22:22 - The Overwhelmed Mind
25:36 - I am under attack and a hot mess!
29:10 - Shift Happens - Hmmm?
31:09 - The Tide Turned - This too shall pass.
41:28- Alan Watts: “Humans overthink and examine the contents of their thinking far too little.”
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