What if the feeling you’re trying to avoid is actually pointing to what you need most? In this episode, Coach Cole and Coach Hayley guide T and Jean through compassionate exploration of the urges driving their drinking. T describes anticipation, ritual, and the itchy “deprivation sweater” she feels when she skips a drink. Jean shares how isolation and social anxiety feed her belief that she’s “not interesting.” Both women dive into how to figure out why you drink - not to shame, but to uncover hidden needs, from creativity and space to self-worth and connection.
In T’s Session:
Translating the “deprived/itchy” sensation into data, not danger.
How anticipation builds the ritual—and how to disrupt it kindly.
Micro-pause practice: five minutes to explore how to figure out why you drink.
“No room to grow” → portable creativity kits and boundary conversations.
Reframing anger as an unmet-need alert, not a failure.
Shifting from measuring pours to measuring alignment and relief.
Choosing compassion tools over control tactics.
And more topics…
In Jean’s Session:
Social anxiety’s storylines: “I’m boring,” “I’ll say it wrong,” “I’ll stay home.”
Worth vs. worthiness feelings: why the difference matters.
Hand-on-heart anchors and compassionate self-talk before events.
Understanding how to figure out why you drink to stop pre-event numbing.
Low-stakes connection reps to unwind isolation loops.
“I’m in the process of…” turnarounds that feel true (not toxic positivity).
Progress over perfection: practicing courage in small doses.
And more…
Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. For years, he felt lost and used alcohol as a way to cope, until he decided to go alcohol-free and focus on finding his purpose. Through curiosity, self-compassion, and adventure, he transformed his life. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps young men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning.
Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/
Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Drawing from personal experiences, Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. She believes that with the right mindset, anyone can change their life at any time.
Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/
Episode links:
nakedmindpath.com
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