Today we have Jenn. She is 52 years old, from Washington, DC and she took their last drink on September 3rd, 2023.
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[01:13] Thoughts from Paul:
Today Paul talks about the origin of the title to his new book Dolce Vita which will be released on January 1st.
What he has learned over the years in his own recovery and while interviewing hundreds of people on the RE podcast is that the addiction is trying to get us to the true Dolce Vita – the true good life. Of course, not the Dolce Vita at the bottom of a wine bottle because if you're listening now, you've already realized that it doesn't deliver.
The true Dolce Vita is seeing through the "I'll be happy when…" trap. It is stepping away from the me-me-me voice inside the head and leading a life where you walk others home after you find your own footing. It is recognizing oneness in a world of duality.
Paul's message before we enter the new year is yes, do the work, plan for the future. Put the bottle down but don't ignore the timeless part of you that is trying to land more and more into the true Dolce Vita. You're already there.
[06:51] Paul introduces Jenn:
Jenn is 52 and lives in the DC area with her two children. For work, Jenn is a civil engineer and for fun she enjoys traveling, camping, hiking, attending concerts and is a gourmet cook.
Jenn first drank in middle school and loved untouchable feeling she got from it. She never blacked out, but it helped her make friends and feel at ease. She was just drinking to have fun and that continued through high school and college. After graduation, Jenn moved to Richmond VA where there were bars on every corner.
Drinking became part of her routine until Jenn's boss warned her that she could lose her job if she continued. She would begin to put boundaries on her drinking when anything would happen and says she soon painted herself into a corner where the only safe place to drink was at home.
Jenn got married and they moved to Philadelphia. Both times her wife was pregnant, Jenn chose not to drink in solidarity with them but would go right back after the kids were born. Jenn traveled a lot for work and being in a high-pressure job, drinking was a way for her to ease the stress.
It was during COVID that Jenn would drink alone in the basement often and realized how miserable she was. Her kids were scared of her, she was not living up to her potential and suicide felt like the only option.
While watching a classic movie about a transgender person, Jenn found herself having an existential crisis and didn't know who she was anymore. This contributed to her drinking and created complications with her diverticulitis which required surgery. She had recently began taking Ativan in addition to her drinking to help with her stress and insomnia. After her mother died, she began to abuse the drug.
On Labor Day weekend in 2023, Jenn decided to quit the drug and had terrible withdrawals. She decided to check into detox for a week and while there realized that she needed to quit both the Ativan and the drinking. She started working the 12 steps and got a sponsor which also led to her going to gender counseling to help deal with her transition.
Life changed for Jenn when she began to live an authentic life. Her marriage didn't survive, but she and her ex-wife are still great friends and coparents. A job change has allowed her to spend more time with family and her recovery community. She supplements her recovery with podcasts, books, exercise and counseling. Her higher power gets her outside of herself and she has the goal to help others by sharing her experience.
Recovery Elevator
It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
We can do this.
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