Today we have Nathan. He is 45 years old from Harrisburg, VA and took his last drink on January 24th, 2023.
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[01:59] Thoughts from Paul:
When asked what recovery has made possible, today's guest Nathan responded with the one word "everything" almost before Paul could finish the question.
The sobriety space, especially the 12-step world, is full of cheesy recovery slogan, but Paul shares one that he laughed at when he first heard it. The saying is, you're giving up one thing for everything. And that one thing is alcohol.
If you ride a drinking problem long enough, it will take everything from your life. But when you quit, nearly everything that was taken will be returned. Not all in one day of course, but a life without alcohol will give you everything. More money, more sunsets, more time with aging parents, more memories, a better outlook on life and more growth.
[05:56] Paul introduces Nathan:
Nathan lives in Harrisonburg, VA where he works in the philanthropy space in higher education. He and his wife have two children, 11 and 14 years old. For fun, he enjoys spending time with his family and out in nature.
In high school, Nathan was very active in a variety of high school activities. Having a reputation to maintain, Nathan kept his drinking private. Nathan went on to college and says it was the typical experience with the exception of losing a friend to a drunk driving incident in which he feels partially responsible for.
While he used alcohol to cope with the pain of the loss, he also used the loss to propel him into trying to make changes in programs at school and how he approached is own drinking. Nathan still did much of his drinking in private because he knew he couldn't drink how he wanted to in public.
Over the years, Nathan didn't think he had a problem, but he was hiding the quantity he drank from everyone. Once COVID came, the isolation, the unknowns, and the loss of multiple family members found Nathan's consumption changing a bit. He began to realize the behavior wasn't normal but believed it was a moral failing, or lack of discipline rather than the alcohol being the source of the problem.
At 41, Nathan began to use health related goals as motivation to moderate. He didn't drink daily, but when he drank it was with the intention to get drunk. After finding himself in handcuffs with his car in the ditch, he wanted nothing more than to just "fix it". It was at this time when his wife approached him and said it was time for him to go to AA.
Nathan didn't identify as an alcoholic and was initially resistant, but a voice in his head said he had no excuse not to go. Getting some great advice at the first meeting that really resonated with him, Nathan left with the Big Book and went on to attend 90 meetings in 90 days.
The first three months were all about survival for Nathan. After his legal troubles ended he had a shift from "I have to do this" to "I want to do this". Recognizing that he could use his recovery to help others, he and some friends are trying to reach the younger demographic in his area. Service has become very important, and Nathan is now a sponsor for others in the AA space.
Nathan's parting piece of guidance: You're never going to wake up in the morning and regret not drinking the night before.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
I love you guys.
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