Today we have Emily. She is 43 years old from Sacramento, CA and took her last drink on December 20th, 2024.
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[03:03] Thoughts from Paul:
Happy Thanksgiving to our American listeners! Paul is wishing everyone a week of peace, calm, turkey, pumpkin and hopefully whipped cream and lots of ice cream.
Paul was going to give us 10 tips to help you stay alcohol-free this week, but if you get this one right, then you should be ok… Somebody – ideally everybody – at your Thanksgiving dinner needs to know that you are not drinking or of your plans to stay sober. We at RE call this burning the ships and AA calls this radical honesty.
Ok, here's a second tip – do your best to be thankful or find things to be thankful for. Thank the universe for your willingness to show up. For your willingness to listen to a podcast about making profound change. This shit ain't easy.
Paul and the rest of us at RE are grateful for you all and for your support over the years.
THANK YOU!
[07:59] Paul introduces Emily:
Emily lives in Sacramento, CA with her husband and four children. She is a flower farmer. For fun, she enjoys playing music, spending time outside, talking to animals, reading and taking naps.
Emily only drank a handful of times prior to age 38. She was raised Mormon with a loving family in a small town outside of Yosemite. There was no exposure to alcohol for Emily growing up. She says every time she did drink she felt enormous guilt and shame due to her religion and the pressure to fit the mold of what she was expected to be.
Between the ages of 33 and 37, Emily and her husband started a charter school for the arts in California. It was very successful but was closed down after five years because of politics in the small town. Emily tried to be resilient and keep moving forward, but a series of personal blows to her and her family found them moving two hours away from family in friends because of a job.
Emily began to realize her life in the church wasn't aligned with her personal values. Since they had moved away from family and friends, Emily decided to try "mommy wine culture". She began drinking wine in a coffee mug after the kids went to bed in an effort to be discreet with it and enjoyed how it calmed her down and not think about everything that was going on.
Emily didn't have much knowledge about how alcohol affected people, and her drinking progressed quickly. She decided to check into outpatient rehab in 2021 with the support of her husband. She had six months of sobriety and then thought she could moderate. That idea ended terribly one night in December 2024 when Emily got arrested for domestic violence.
After the incident, Emily and her husband separated and she was only saw the kids every other week. She drank a few times but decided it wasn't worth it anymore. She began therapy to try and uncover why she felt the need to soften the edges of her life.
One of the many things that Emily feels she has gained in recovery is the ability to trust herself again. She and her husband have reconciled and are rebuilding a strong foundation. Emily says that in addition to therapy, she enjoys podcasts, reading quit lit, journaling and Refuge Recovery.
Recovery Elevator
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