Today we have Lauren. She is 44 years old from Arroyo Grande, CA and took her last drink on April 26th, 2021.
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Tonight, our four-week mindfulness course starts in Café RE at 7:30 EST. This is our fourth year doing the course and you're going to learn a lot about how to sit with those thoughts in the head. Specifically, the ones that tell you it's a good idea to drink and how to let them pass.
Paul's next book Dolce Vita will be coming out soon. Once we have a launch date, you all will be the first to know.
[03:22] Thoughts from Paul:
Why the drinking? Well, the better question is why the excess drinking? Why do you drink before you meet up with friends and continue drinking afterwards? Why do you drink after you tell yourself you're not drinking today? We may never 100% know why, but it's a good idea to have a simplified mission statement that you tell yourself when you feel the urge to drink.
A key to recovery is discovering the purpose that excessive drinking serves, the why. And then another important key is finding healthier ways to fill the role alcohol was playing. Paul shares that the fourth step of AA played a very helpful role in him learning his "whys".
Paul encourages listeners to explore within them what it is driving the drinking and then explore what makes them smile without the alcohol and do more of that.
[7:33] Paul introduces Lauren:
Lauren is 44 and lives in Arroyo Grande, CA. She is married and they have a 17-year-old son, a dog and a cat. Lauren works in public affairs and communications for a local college and for fun, they enjoy spending time on their boat at lakes.
Lauren had her first drink at a party when she was 16. She says she didn't go to a lot of parties so was excited when she was invited. Lauren was upset about something before going and had already made the plan to get drunk in order to change the way she was feeling. In college is where Lauren says her drinking really ramped up. The parties were fun, and Lauren would binge drink on weekends but did not drink during the week.
After graduation, Lauren began working as a TV news producer where drinking during the week became normal. It was around this time that Lauren met her husband. When he got a job out of town, Lauren chose to go with him and soon after became pregnant.
Lauren didn't drink while she was pregnant but definitely missed it. They had no support since they moved to a new place. After the baby came, Lauren started drinking again and this time it wasn't for fun, it was to cope. She made attempts to moderate, but the goalposts kept moving. When her husband confronted her about her drinking, she defensively began to hide it.
COVID came and Lauren says she lost accountability by not being able to go to work. Her first drinks would come earlier in the day and before long she was starting her mornings with a shot of vodka.
She kept her concerns about her drinking to herself, but it was starting to show enough for her husband to stage an intervention with her family. Lauren agreed to go to treatment and stayed for 40 days with an outpatient program afterward. For the first time, Lauren didn't feel alone and was determined to make sobriety work.
The first year of recovery, Lauren avoided anything that would jeopardize her sobriety and began acquiring tools to keep her sober. She read books, listened to podcasts, began exercising and found a therapist. By year three she had more confidence: went back to school and took on more responsibilities at work.
Since quitting drinking Lauren says that her family is closer than ever. Presence, patience and gratitude are huge things in Lauren's life now.
Lauren's parting piece of guidance: just try.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
I love you guys.
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