Today we have Ty. She is 76 years old, lives in Bozeman, MT and she took her last drink on March 8th, 2008.
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[04:21] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul tells us that every time he goes into a retreat or event with RE, he asks the universe to send us a (safe) wildlife encounter. This past retreat in Bozeman was no different. This time, it showed up in the form of a bald eagle while we were spending time at the lake pavilion. After it flew in, it perched on a lone pine tree branch about 50 yards away from us where we admired it's beauty and Ty, an avid birder, shared some facts about the bald eagle with the group.
Paul shared that while editing the interview he did with Ty, he noticed some background noise. Normally, he does his best to avoid this, but this time he welcomed it. You will hear in the background the sound of birds. He says it was if the universe sent the birds to support Ty.
[08:45] Paul introduces Ty:
Ty lives in Bozeman, MT with her husband Dan. She likes to hike (gently), watch birds and enjoys reading. She is technically retired but has been editing the RE podcast since episode 25.
Ty grew up with an alcoholic father in Fort Worth, TX. Her mother did not allow alcohol in the house, so her father was gone a lot. Ty didn't drink much during high school due to the fear of her mother detecting it on her.
After she graduated, Ty got married to her boyfriend. That marriage didn't last long because her husband was an alcoholic and became abusive. They divorced when she was 21. During that time Ty would go out with friends she worked with where they would drink together. She says her rebellion against her father came out in that time – it was the early 70's filled with drugs and rock and roll.
Ty said she spiraled shortly after her dad died and went through a dark time. She sought help from the county health board and after they placed her on mood stabilizers, she started drinking less.
At age 26, Ty went to university where she chose doing well in school over drinking and partying. A month after graduating college, Ty had a baby. Her daughter had a lot of health and developmental issues, so she became a full-time caregiver for her throughout her 30s.
In her 40s, Ty met her current husband Dan, who does not drink. They moved to Bar Harbor, where Ty worked in the restaurant industry. This exposed her to fine wine, which she would enjoy at home after work, while her husband was sleeping. Ty says red flags began to show when she switched to vodka because it has less calories. She began to hide her bottles and drink in secret.
Moderation for Ty was when she would quit drinking for Lent. One year she found that she wasn't able to which got her thinking more about her drinking. She was attending Al-Anon meetings but was interested in the literature for AA. After taking some quizzes to determine if she was an alcoholic, she started to believe she might be.
The next morning while in church, Ty says she prayed: "I can't do this will you help me". That evening she went to her first AA meeting where she introduced herself as an alcoholic. It was the first time she had said it to herself or anyone else.
Ty says she burned the ships early on. Honesty and openness became very important to her. She knew she had to do the work and became comfortable asking her husband for support in various ways. AA has been a big part of Ty's recovery story since the beginning. She has witnessed a lot of growth and change in the recovery world since quitting. Joining RE opened up so much for her and she says her toolbox expanded in terms of resources and learning different things.
Ty's parting piece of guidance: it's harder to get sober than it is to stay sober.
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You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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